We Carry On
by Kaits1789
Summary: A SongFic showing the companionship of an ADA and a detective after a long day. How do Casey adn Olivia deal? How do they learn to carry on?


**Disclaimer:**I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from _Law & Order: SVU. _They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)I don't own the song _We Carry On_ either and I am not making any money off of its use.

A/N: Here we go. A one shot because I'm bored and tired and needed to look at this. Soooo….let's just go for it. Yay! The song is _We Carry On _by Tim McGraw. Love this song.

Summary: Olivia and Casey are best friends – how do they comfort each other when a case hits too close to home. Oneshot. Songfic. CO friendship (nothing slashy here).

**We Carry On**

* * *

Together the two women sat, each sipping their own drink, each lost in thought. The brown haired detective drank her light beer slowly, letting her mind wander to a place of serene wonder. She goes to a place where the world doesn't revolve around sex crimes and sleepless nights.

The blonde Assistant District Attorney sipped on her Satin Whisker – a mixed drink consisting of Vermouth, Gin, Grand Marnier, orange juice, and a few other flavor adding particles. She offered a silent companionship for the other, hoping to ease the pain and turmoil she knew the detective went through on a daily basis. There was no speaking on those nights where the two of them went out together. It was an unspoken rule that was not to be broken.

It was simply a matter of making certain the other survived.

_He hasn't seen a drop of rain for months it seems  
Rollin' River is nothing but a trickling stream  
the crops are dying in the harsh sunlight  
the dust on his tongue is dry  
the fatted calf is down to skin and bones  
we carry on_

The detective thought to the trial that had just concluded – the trial where her inability to collect sufficient evidence resulted in the acquittal of the man who had raped three seventeen year old girls. Their faces replayed in her mind's eye, the three blonde haired children who had been straight-A students with perfect lives. One, Marissa, had been a cheerleader. She was peppy and fun, a delight to be surrounded by. The second was an athlete. She played golf, basketball, and soccer. Her name was Gina and her innocence was forever lost. The third, though, was the girl that caused this brown eyed woman to get too attached once again.

The final girl had been named Ileana. When interviewed, the seventeen year old revealed that she knew she was responsible and deserved the sexual abuse that had been inflicted upon her young mind and body. Used to the reaction from victims, the detective immediately shot those concepts down. Ileana, however, had been adamant that she was at fault. Finally, the female detective forced herself to ask why.

Ileana laughed when she answered, "Detective Benson, don't you see it? I'm a child of rape. I had to be punished for making my mother live each day in misery."

_Alone in the city and she's only seventeen  
The boy left her black and blue in the street so mean  
Just twelve weeks along and she's got a life inside  
Says she's never ever felt so alone  
She walks in the shelter, they say "welcome home"_

Olivia silently cursed herself for not seeing it sooner – for not stopping the young girl from believing that her fate was to be punished forever. After living that life, Benson knew the pain and suffering that came for one who knew that they were the sole cause for pain in their mother's life. Many times she would sit in her apartment alone, wishing that she had the power and strength to take her own life.

Every time, however, she thought of her partner who needed her day in and day out. She thought of her captain, who took on the position of a father figure without a second thought. She thought of her coworkers – the detectives who covered each other's tracks and helped each other through the ache they witnessed day in and day out. She thought of the woman who sat next to her. Casey Novak was her best friend in every sense of the word, the ADA proved to be three types of amazing in the way she understood what to say and what not to.

Most importantly, though, when Olivia was lost in a world of sorrow and fear, she thought of the women and men who were still out there, those who were still being hurt and those committing the crimes. Those thoughts woke her up in the morning, pulled her through each day, and put her to bed at night. The people she had yet to help were what made her survive every agonizing day.

_And we carry on  
When our lives come undone  
We carry on  
Cause there's promise in the morning sun  
We carry on  
As the dark surrenders to the dawn  
We were born to overcome  
We carry on_

As Benson's thoughts continued to drift through the case that had ensued, the blonde woman sitting beside took a moment to glance at her companion out of the corner of her eye. It scared her when Olivia was silent. Casey was never certain about what it meant, and there was only so much of the other woman's past that had been revealed. Every so often, the ADA wondered if her camaraderie was enough.

Yet, Novak knew it was all she could offer. Sitting with her until the wee hours of the morning fell around was all the detective would accept. It was all anyone could do. There were times when Casey was positive there was more to the story than met the eye, but Olivia would never open herself up to the pain of revealing her darkest secrets. That was world that had been shut off to the rest of humanity.

_Beyond the picket fences and the oil wells  
the happy endings and the fairy tales  
Is the reality of shattered lives and broken dreams  
we carry on_

A tear trickled down the brown eyed woman's cheek. Benson had assumed it went unnoticed by the other woman, but Casey was an attentive person. She saw it fall and wanted nothing more than to wipe it away, but the unspoken rule went as far as no communication whatsoever. Olivia's head drooped in shame as she tried to control herself. What might have been too much for the average person to handle would have to be something that the female detective could fight and survive on her own. Her walls would not break anytime soon.

_It's the family that grieves for a lost loved one  
It's the soldier who won't leave til the job is done  
It's the addict trying to turn his life around  
It's picking yourself off the ground when you've been knocked down_

Olivia took another drink of her beer, thinking about the past. Ileana's words rang out in her head, and, with little effort, Benson found the truth. While nothing was ever that seventeen year old's fault, Olivia knew that her past was a result of her conception and childhood. Every moment of torture that she had endured – her mother's alcoholism and never ending verbal and physical cruelty, the boyfriends who used and abused her, the mistakes that left her yearning to wipe clean the slate and start over – was something that she deserved and caused. Had she ended it all when she was younger, when no one would have cared and her existence had mattered to no one, then she wouldn't have to sit in a bar silently drinking beer to get through the night.

Another tear fell down her olive toned skin as she tried not to lose what little dignity she still had. Quickly, she pushed her past out of her mind. There was no reason to dwell on what, only reason to dwell on what was to come. While the truth was that Olivia felt lonely and disheartened the majority of the time, there were moments of pure joy that could overcome every other feeling. Even if she couldn't take away she had caused her own mother, she could still change her own little corner of the world. That would have to be enough to get her through – for now.

_And we carry on  
When our lives come undone  
We carry on  
Cause there's promise in the morning sun  
We carry on  
As the dark surrenders to the dawn  
We were born to overcome_

Finishing her drink, Olivia reached into her purse to pull out the cash that would cover their drinks. Casey, however, put her hand on Olivia's arm to stop her. The woman took the final sip of her Satin Whisker and laid out the appropriate amount of money. Benson shook her head, trying to silently remind Novak that she had paid last time. Fearing that speaking would bring tears, Olivia shoved Casey's money back at her.

"You've had a long day," the ADA stated, breaking their unspoken and unwritten rule. "Let me cover it."

Biting her lower lip, Olivia nodded slowly, understanding her friend's need to be helpful. The two left the bar, each to hail their own cab. Casey's stopped first. Before the blonde entered the vehicle, she turned to Olivia and offered a warm, gentle embrace. She sighed softly, wishing there was more she could do as her best friend clung to her for dear life. Novak didn't have any desire to leave, but knew that it was nearly three in the morning and she had no other option.

"Will you be all right?"

_We carry on  
When our lives come undone  
We carry on  
Cause there's promise in the morning sun  
We carry on  
As the dark surrenders to the dawn  
We were born to overcome  
We carry on_

The brown haired detective thought for a moment. Olivia's brown eyes showed uncertainty as she searched for the ability to assure Casey that her fate was safe for the time being. Within a few moments, though, Olivia spoke, "It hurts, Case."

"I know, but you've got to get through this. It doesn't always feel like this," Novak whispered in a soft tone.

"I know," Olivia answered quietly. "We've just got to carry on, right?"

Casey smiled warmly at her friend, "Right."

Olivia watched as the ADA climbed into the backseat of the cab and left the area. As she hailed her own and climbed in the backseat of the yellow car she smiled softly to herself. She knew that it would all end up okay. She paid the driver as she walked into her apartment building, up the stairs, and let herself into her small, albeit welcoming home. Changing into pajama pants and a t-shirt, she fell into her bed, enveloping herself in soft, warm blankets. Closing her brown eyes slowly, the detective fell into a much needed refreshing and restless slumber.

She was fully prepared to carry on.

_He stands in the field, cooled by the winds of change  
She smiles as her baby moves and it starts to rain_

* * *

A/N: all righty. That's it. Please review...and read _Not a Day Goes By, _its sequal _Fix You, _and my oneshot _This Uncivil War. _If you read those and review...you'll be my favorite person ever. No Joke._  
_


End file.
